Hidey-hailey-hello! Y'all broke too? Man! Lack of gainful employment has really crimped my ability to pick on perfectly innocent restaurants of late! It's been basic rice'n'stuff dishes at home and maybe a cheapie burger or taco at the local choke and puke, if we eat out. My most exciting meal out has been a double burger and banana malt at the Los Banos Fosters Freeze. Which, by the way, was orgasmically good, considering it was my first meal of the day at around 5pm. I was so hungry that my body gave me a little dopamine cookie to reward me for not starving it. Thats pretty hungry!
Although there was one fabulously funny event of note during the week. I finally got my first raging hate-chat on Chuck's show last Friday! I was overjoyed! Although given how conversations can ebb and flow while we're cooking, apparently it's not my stance on Israel or police brutality that garnered scorn. Nay! It's my opinion that Rachel Ray is a fatty batty boombalatty! As if a multi-millionaire needs emotional protection from a mean ole blogger in Fresno! Tee hee! And they said my fruit salad was amateurish! Try this baby on for size and tell me that the flavor profile is for amateurs.
Stoned Fruit Salad
3 plums
2 nectarines
4 apricots
1/2lb strawberries
4 kiwis
2 oranges
4 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 aji lemon pepper
1 bonda ma jaques pepper
1 peter pepper
1 tablespoon light rum
6 cherry slice jelly candies
Pit and slice the stone fruit into bite sized pieces. Hull and slice strawberries likewise. Peel and dice kiwis. Use a knife to cut the peel from the oranges and using a sharp paring knife, slice wedges from the orange and squeeze the juice from the remaining pulp into a chilled mixing bowl. Place the fruit into the bowl and toss with the brown sugar. Place in the refrigerator and allow to macerate for a half hour. Remove from the fridge and drizzle with the honey and rum. Then seed and dice the peppers and toss together with the fruit mixture. Allow to rest together for another hour. When serving, dice up some of the cherry candies and sprinkle on top.
Now, I see what you're saying. Hot peppers and candy from a gas station? And to you, I say YES! The acid from the oranges adds an amazing sourness that melds with the candy to give a bright, tangy chewey element that binds the flavors of the stone fruit and the strawberries. All the while theres a mild fruity burn lingering in the background without it grabbing centerstage. Alas, aji lemons and bonda ma jaques are hard to come by if you don't garden them yourself. But I'm sure there are a few sources out there on the interwebs.
One taste will make the quest for ingredients worth it! I'm as sure of it as I am that Rachel Ray is a piggy little butterball of hunka-hunka burning junk in the trunk.
-Pook
